I Understand
by SilkeLovesSantana
Summary: Set during 3x14, On My Way. Santana's reaction to David's attempt to kill himself andhow she was on the verge of doing the same thing. What she shared during the 'sharing moment' and what she said when she went to see Karofsky.


**I understand**

Set In 3X14, On My Way

Santana sat on the bleachers. David tried to kill himself... She couldn't really grasp it. She knew that guy, he seemed so though, but she should have known he was capable of doing something like this if people knew he was gay. She knew what it was like, having people hate her. They hated her most of her life but back then, she asked for it for being a bitch but now that people hated her for loving Brittany, it hurt so much more.

Every day, people put notes between her books that read 'dyke', 'Lady Gay', 'fucking lezzy' and 'God hates you'. That was probably all the shit she got right now, but before, in the beginning, it was worse. People found it funny to put Playboy magazines in her locker (how they got it open, she didn't know); boys come on to her and her girlfriend saying that they could 'cure' them. She also got pushed into lockers but she didn't do anything other than swallow a few times to make her rage go away. She thought that ignoring it would be best, let it seem like nothing was going on and also, it felt like it wouldn't change anything, what would she do against a group of jocks if she couldn't even take Lauren Zizes?

It ate her away inside.

She had been there, bottle of sleeping pills in her hands, looking out of the window and thinking that it would be easier if she was dead, if she couldn't feel this anymore. She wasn't at the top anymore, Brittany got bullied because she was with her, Finn - the one that outed her - never said sorry and everyone seemed okay with that, no one looked at her the same way, her grandmother hated her and the rest of her family was not much better... Yes, it would be better to kill herself... The pills laid in her hand, they felt heavy, she was ready to take them when her phone began to buzz, indicating that someone send her a text. With her free hand she got the cellphone out of her pocket. Maybe another hate text...

From: My Everything 3

Hey, Sanny, I was thinking about U. I just wanted 2 say I love U and think U are perfect. Lord T does to, he just doesn't want 2 admit it.

I miss U.

Britt

Brittany. This would hurt Brittany so much; she could never hurt her girlfriend. Never. She dropped the pills on the floor and sat back down on her bed. When the realization downed on her, that she was about to take her own life, she buried her head in her hands and cried. She cried for hours. She looked at the text message once again and decided then and there, that whatever she would do, it would be for Brittany. She had to get through this for her. She wanted that life with Brittany in New York or Los Angeles. She wanted that wedding. She wanted those kids.

"Hey, San, why do you look so sad?" Brittany snapped her out of her flash back. She was now sitting down next to Santana.

She smiled at her girlfriend. "Nothing baby..." Santana said and laid her hand on the blonde's cheek. She leaned in and kissed her softly. Yes, she had made the right decision.

**S&B&S&B**

"So, Santana what are you looking forward to?" Mr. Shue asked when she was one of the last to share.

Santana sighed. "Too many things..."

"Say all of them!" Brittany says excitedly.

Santana gave her a smile. "I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother will be at our wedding, for my parents to hold their grandchildren and for me to be the top lawyer of this country."

Brittany grinned from ear to ear before she gave Santana a sweet kiss on her cheek and every one smiled at how cute they were.

"Well, I want the same as Santana. But I want to be a dancer, lawyers are boring." Brittany smiled.

"They are so NOT." Santana exclaimed. They both began to giggle.

**S&B&S&B**

Santana didn't know what she was doing here but she just needed to do this. She knocked on the door and peaked inside.

"Hey, can I come in?" She asked. David looked surprised to see her.

"Yeah, sure." He told her. His voice was raw. She walked inside.

"I didn't really get you anything. This was kind of an instant decision." She said and shrugged.

He gave her a small smile. "It's okay." He told her. She dragged the chair over to the bed and sat down  
>"How are you doing?" She asked.<p>

"I don't know... Pretty okay, I guess." He said. "I can probably go home, tomorrow."

"That's great." Santana smiled.

"Why are you here? It's not like we are very close or anything." He said.

Santana took a deep breath. "I just... I feel a bit responsible even though I know I'm not. Not really. I just hope that now, you know that we all care a great deal about you. Everyone does. And I may not seem to be the most compassionate person but I understand it. I understand why you did it and I just hope that now you know that everyone is here for you. And it's true, you know? That it gets better. Look at Kurt; he is in a great place right now. And look at me; I have the hottest and sweetest girlfriend in town. And you know what? Once you get better and get out of this place, you will have the same. I'm sure of it. You are a great guy, Dave. And you'll get through this..." She took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Now, I'm going to stop my speech because it's getting a bit to cliché." Santana said with a smile.

David smiled a wide smile and nodded. "Thanks Santana." He said.

"No problem." She smiled at him.

**S&B&S&B**

**Author Notes: **Okay, so this may seem out of character for a lot of people but I am someone that believes that Santana is a really sweet person underneath that though exterior. I hope you enjoyed this.


End file.
